10 Ways to Survive Builing or Remodeling Your HomeThink of the project as a new diet. Who doesn’t want to lose at least five pounds? This is one way to do it. Between running to stores all day and evening long, meeting with contractors, inspecting the work, searching the Western world for the perfect light fixture, who has time to eat? Provided you don’t sabotage this new, unorthodox diet plan, with McDonalds drive through, you’re good for losing five pounds. If you are a masochistic type who does some of the work yourself – whether it be painting, laying tile, landscaping the yard – you can count on another five to ten pounds of weight loss. Just think, you may be miserable, frustrated, exhausted, nd down right cynical about the good of the humankind, but your jeans will fit nicely! 2.
Write checks as aerobic exercise. These workouts are great for toning the wrist and fingers. Usually done in hectic spurts as you race out the door in the morning while the contractors are breathing down your neck and your kids are beating each other with the lunch boxes you just prepared, the stress and frantic activity are sure to raise your heartbeat for a good hour. Grumbling under your breath that the plumber, electrician, or you name it, isn’t really worth this much money adds greater intensity and calorie burn to this little publicized exercise regime. 3.
Save money through shopping burnout Yes, even the most die-hard shopper will come to dread setting foot in any store. This affliction starts innocently enough as you go to look for light fixtures. How hard can it be? Hard! Either the light you want is being shipped from Yugoslavia and won’t arrive until your youngest child buys his own home, or you just can’t find the one you want. You’ll shop every lighting and electrical store you know. You’ll search Home Depot. You’ll haunt hardware stores. And then there’s plumbing fixtures. Sink centers, faucet handles, finishes, special orders. What’s all that about? And the cost. You’d think you were outfitting the palace for a former third world dictator.
Of course, there’s carpet, tile, hardwood, stairs, siding, windows. Enough already. And you thought it was a pain picking mints and sweet table treats for your wedding. After your 1000th trip to Home Depot (or Lowes or Menards or whatever), in addition to all the other trips you’ve made for items that shouldn’t count as shopping (toilet seats, for example), you’ve had it. Your friends won’t be able to bribe you to check out the latest sale at Bloomingdales. You’ll think it will be better when you can pick out “fun” things like paint, wall paper, drapes, fabric, furniture – but don’t bet on it. At this point, the pressure to make your home look like something other than an empty rat maze will counteract any joy in shopping. Spending this much money has never been such a miserable experience. As a result, when your home becomes half-way presentable, you’ll refuse to shop again – even for groceries – for at least six months. The money you save during this shopping hiatus will be sufficient for you to resume this previously pleasurable past time once more without guilt.
4. Impress your friends with obscure facts. Only someone that has built or remodeled their home can explain the fluid dynamics of a proper toilet water swirl. Or cite the International Building Code that calls for no more than 6’ between electrical outlets. Or brag that triple glazed windows are really the wave of the future for light emitting device technology. See what I mean? :) 5. Pride yourself on your new creative skills. You’ll discover a creative side that you never knew existed. Like how to wash dishes in the bath tub. And how to make a full course meal for a family of four using nothing more than a toaster and hot plate.
Or how to fit an entire family in a house smaller than your first apartment. They say that necessity is the mother of invention. That’s probably true, but I also think that the only thing that separates modern and pioneer life is just one kitchen or bath remodeling project. 6. Yell at someone other than your kids – and not feel guilty. Honestly, as a modern woman trying to juggle the running of our homes, possibly a job, and the future Olympic soccer aspirations of our children, you have the primal need to yell. At someone. Anyone. Often our spouse and children suffer from this need of ours to release pent up negative energy generated from nothing more than some miniature human leaving smelly gym shoes on the kitchen table.
Service Uncle Articles
Service Uncle Books